Complementing or Congruent? Desired Characteristics in a Friend and Romantic Partner in Autistic versus Typically Developing Male Adolescents

Ideal friend and romantic partner characteristics related to self-perceived characteristics have been investigated in typically developing (TD) individuals, but not in individuals with autism spectrum disorder (ASD). Considering the autistic symptoms and challenges, investigating these concepts in autistic individuals is relevant. Given the lack of consensus, identity-first (“autistic person”) and person-first (“person with autism”) language are mixed throughout, to cover all preferences. This study explored (1) the association between self-perceived characteristics and desires in a friend/romantic partner, as well as (2) compare two groups (ASD and TD) in their desires for a friend/romantic partner. Two matched groups (ASD and TD) of 38 male adolescents (age 14–19 years) reported on the desire for nine characteristics (i.e., funny, popular, nice, cool, smart, trustworthy, good looking, similar interests, and being rich) in a friend/partner, and to what extent they felt they themselves possessed seven characteristics (i.e., funny, popular, nice, cool, smart, trustworthy, and good looking). Results showed both groups sought a friend and partner similar to themselves on intrinsic characteristics (e.g., trustworthiness), but less similar on extrinsic and social status characteristics (e.g., being less cool and popular). Particularly intrinsic characteristics, more than extrinsic and social status characteristics, were valued in both partners and friends, regardless of group. No significant differences were found between groups concerning to what extent characteristics were desired. Overall, adolescents with ASD desire similar characteristics as TD adolescents in their potential romantic partners and friends. There is some indication that the match between self-perception and desired characteristics is different.